Brand New

Day 26: Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so when and why?

Wow. Getting into the heavy stuff, eh? Well, I’ve never seriously thought about giving up on life so much that I wanted to die. But yes, I have thought about giving up on life. I don’t remember all the details because it was so long ago. I just remember thinking that my life wasn’t as awesome as I was expecting it to be and I wondered if I really mattered anymore. I had an “It’s a Wonderful Life” moment where I was wishing I was never born. Then I thought about all the things that would be different if I wasn’t around. I don’t know how much of it would have been true but it’s just the small things that I thought truly needed me for. I have also wanted to just check out of life. In the sense of going far away to start completely new, where no one knew me and I could be or become anyone I wanted to. But I’d miss everyone too much and I wouldn’t be able to keep up a new life without going back to the old one. Everything that I’ve gone through has made me the person I am today. Without, I would be completely different. And that’s just weird!

Today’s song is a song I hope is on my husband’s playlist for me. J But for right now, just pretend they sing boy instead of girl. Be strong, be happy, and find the joy in your life!

My Kind of Girl- Brian McKnight & Justin Timberlake

When I was younger never went too far
Held my feelings and never even wanted to start
So when I met you, I didn’t know
What you were gonna do with my heart

When you talk (I cling on every word you say)
When you move (Just like a breeze on a summer day)
When you smile (the sky turns from grey to blue, that’s what you do)
And you’re the kind of girl I think of
And you’re the kind of girl I dream about
My heart is telling me that I need you in my world (in my world)
Cause you my kind of lady (your my kind of girl)

When I'm not with you, where ever you are
Baby I'm counting the moments till I'm back in your arms
All I want is to have you here with me
Every night and every day, when you talk

(I cling on every word you say)
When you move (Just like a breeze on a summer day)
When you smile (the sky turns from grey to blue, that’s what you do)
And you’re the kind of girl I think of
And you’re the kind of girl I dream about
My heart is telling me that I need you in my world (in my world)
Cause you my kind of lady (your my kind of girl)

Baby girl I need you here by my side
And if your there everything will be alright
Cause this is the time for us, baby be mine

And you’re the kind of girl I think of
And you’re the kind of girl I dream about
My heart is telling me that I need you in my world (in my world)
Cause you my kind of lady (your my kind of girl)