Ups and Downs

I’ve been in St. George for a total of five days now, despite the fact that I’ve been in Utah for 12. I went up North to Provo a few days after arriving in SG. Pohai came down to visit the weekend I got in and then invited me to go back up with her for a few days. I accepted and had fun visiting w/ her and some other friends. It was so nice to catch up with everyone.

Now I sit at my computer applying for multiple positions for various companies, in attempt of finding a new source of income. It becomes quite tedious sitting here and filling out the same information over and over again. The topic of conversations, with the new people that I have been meeting from church and such, has been what kind of job I’m looking for. At one point I was saying “anything” but really it isn’t anything. I don’t want to be the new hostess of “Dirty Jobs,” or “Super Nanny.” Don’t get me wrong, having my own show would be pretty great but not the occupation that comes w/ it. The reason why I am so “picky” about where I apply to or what kind of jobs I look for is because I don’t want to be stuck at a job that I have no motivation for. If I get a job that I have no interest in, I know from past experience, that I will be miserable. I will go to work and do the minimum of what is expected of me and I will countdown the time I have left for the day. I don’t ever want to put myself in that situation again.

I realize that it seems that I am whining about getting a new job. It is what it is. Job hunting sucks and no one likes it. It’s just one of those things that we need to do every now and then. Whenever the next round of job hunting comes around for me, I reflect on what I’ve accomplished in my past positions and what I hope to accomplish for the upcoming positions. I also think about what I want to do in life. It always ends in the same manner. I get a job in something that I am pretty good at but isn’t necessarily what I want to do. Most people my age have a steady career, their own home and/or mode of transportation, and most often a family w/ multiple children. Compared to the rest, I am very much behind. However, I have recently come to realize that I NEED to stop comparing myself to others. If we were all meant to live the same life, then we would. But that wouldn’t be fun. There would never be anything new to tell people. There wouldn’t be any new adventures that come along. Life would be… boring.

Being at a temporary low point in life allows for a lot of self-evaluation, mainly because the time is there and much of that time is spent alone. Even if life seems to be going in a direction you never planned for, you just gotta go w/ the flow and wait for a detour to get to where you want it to go. No one is gonna start steering for you. Sometimes you need to blaze the trail since it has not yet been formed. Times like these are hard ones but they are usually the best times because you learn so much and grow a lot. Forget about making lemonade w/ the lemons that life throws at you. Figure out a way to make the lemons into grape juice. Just because the world says it’s impossible doesn’t mean that it really is. Be the one to prove them ALL wrong.

On to today’s song. I was listening to my starred songs on Spotify and this one came on. Big Time Rush is a group band that is the result of a Nickelodeon show. Kind of like the whole Hannah Montana thing. Minus the personality disorder. Big Time Rush is the name of the show and the band. And the band puts out music as well as tours the world. This is a great song and is dedicated to all the girls, and any guys- just change the girl words for boy ones, out there that feel they can’t ever measure up. Be strong, be happy, and find the joy in your life!

Cover Girl- Big Time Rush

I don't know why you always get so insecure
I wish you could see what I see when you're looking in the mirror
And why won't you believe me when I say
That to me you get more beautiful, every day

When you're looking at the magazines
And thinking that you'll never measure up
You're wrong

Chorus

Cause you're my cover, cover girl
I think you're a superstar, yeah you are
Why don't you know
Yeah, you're so pretty that it hurts
It's what's underneath your skin
The beauty that shines within
You're the only one that rocks my world
My cover girl
Oh, my cover girl

You walk in rain boots on a perfect summer day
Somehow you always see the dark side, when everything's okay
And you wear baggy clothes that camouflage your shape
Whoa, but you know that I love you, just the way you're made
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/b/big_time_rush/cover_girl.html ]
When you're looking at the magazines
And thinking that you're just not good enough
You're so wrong, baby

Chorus

Got a heart of gold, a perfect original
Wish you would stop being so hard on yourself for a while
And when I see that face
I'd try a thousand ways
I would do anything to make you smile

Cause you're my cover, cover girl
I think you're a superstar, yeah you are
Why don't you know
Yeah, you're so pretty that it hurts
It's what's underneath your skin
The beauty that shines within
You're the only one that rocks my world
My cover girl

Whoa oh, my cover girl
Whoa oh, my cover girl