We had stake conference this weekend, and can I just say that it was awesome?! I don't often have the chance to go to the Saturday meeting of stake conferences, 'cause I'm normally working. But I was able to attend this time. Mostly because I was asked to speak. :S
The topic for our conference was "Holy habits and righteous routines." My stake president asked me to speak on the "habit of prayer" about a month ago. I was surprised that he asked me! Normally I enjoy speaking in church, so I was pretty excited. The reason I enjoy speaking in church is because I get a lot out of it. But I also figure that there really aren't that many people listening. It might just be my way of getting rid of "butterflies" or whatever, but that's what I think.
In a regular family ward, you have the older people who already love you. Whatever you say will make them love you more. Then you have the younger kids, from youth and primary. They are so preoccupied w/ coloring, snacks, the opposite sex, and what have you, that they aren't listening anyways. Basically you are left w/ a smaller amount of people that are truly listening and not just hearing. Those are the few that I speak to. I understand that there are more people listening, most likely, but that's what I think about. However, as time went by and it got closer to our stake conference, I became nervous! It was really weird for me since I ACTUALLY look forward to speaking in church. I had so much time to prepare, and I really did try to. But when it comes down to it all, I am never able to convey what I would like to in a talk until the night before/ morning of. I don't know why that is, but seriously, every time I try to prepare in advance, it doesn't flow. When I procrastinate, sort of, it works out. And even when I write things down, I only say about half of it when I actually speak. Weird, I know, but that's how it is.
It was about an hour and a half before the meeting and I'm texting my roommates that we should leave between 5:30PM and 5:45PM so we can find parking and so I won't be late. My roommates get home about 5PM and I'm rushing to finish my thoughts. Then I have to finish getting ready. I'm moving along quite rapidly, and then I wait in the living room for everyone else. Emily comes down and says she can't go 'cause she's really sick, and then she asks, "Is Ray still going?" I start freaking out because I'm thinking that I have to go to conference alone and w/ no "moral support." Right when I'm thinking that, Ray comes in and asks if I'm ready. Relief comes over me... and then worry. I don't want to leave Emily, but I can't not go to stake conference, minutes before it starts. Luckily, Emily's friend, Amy, was visiting and was able to take her to urgent care. Ray and I left and got to campus w/ time to spare. It was a pretty chilly night, so I was shivering a little. We walk in and locate the auditorium we were going to be in, and are immediately greeted by the second counselor of our stake presidency, President Ewell. We shake hands and say hello, and as I'm slowly walking away, he asks, "Are you Sister Travis?" I turn and say yes and asked how he knew. I was thinking it was because I had a flower in my ear, but he said it was because I was shivering, so he thought I was nervous to speak. I insisted that it was because I was cold.
I get on stage and meet the other guy I'm speaking w/. He's a pretty cool kid, he served his mission in San Jose, CA (good state, btw) and he was mighty "easy on the eyes!" ;) His topic was the "habit of scripture study." Of course! How perfect is that? Prayer and scripture study. It definitely goes together! As we were sitting there and introducing ourselves, I was telling him a, what I thought to be, funny story about the San Jose mission. I was trying to tell him that my friend at work, Marie, thinks that I served in the California San Jose mission, but it's really the San Bernardino mission. What really came out was, "funny thing about that, my email... I mean she's my roommate, Emily. Not my email. She thinks, wait no. Not my roommate. My friend from work, Marie, often confuses my mission w/ yours. She thinks I served in San Jose." Totally nose dived! What the heck happened?! I know I'm not the most articulate person, normally. But honestly? What happened?! I guess I was so nervous and he was cute and... I don't know. But, as I was making a complete fool out of myself, speaking, the patriarch and his wife came up and was coming to sit next to me. They were saying hello and trying to talk to me as I was trying to finish my disaster of a story, so I got even more flabbergasted. Man, I was figuring it wasn't going to be an easy night of talking. They also asked if Kenny and I were together, or if we were both speaking. It was kind of funny that they asked that, but we were both like, "no, just speaking." Too bad! :)
Well, to get along w/ it all, it turned out to be a really good night! Kenny, the kid I embarrassed myself in front of, spoke first. He was awesome! He had a funny story to start off w/ that totally related and was a good example, he gave experiences, he read scriptures. He even used the commitment pattern! He issued the commitment of having daily scripture study, explained why we should do it, bore testimony, and promised blessings! I was figuring that he hadn't been home too long from his mission, since he was still good at the commitment pattern. But, his talk made me want to do better at being consistent in my scripture study. I was already planning it, but more inspiration!
My turn! I get up and thoughts are just racing. "What am I gonna say? Is it all gonna make sense? What if I draw a blank? Will I take enough time? Will I talk too long? Will I ramble more than usual?" All these random things were going on in my head and I was freaking out at how nervous and anxious I was becoming. Anyways, I'm giving my talk and reading some things from Elder Nelson and Elder Perry, and I'm thinking it's going pretty good. By the end of it all I'm speaking about my experiences and how I'm working on my "habit of prayer" and trying to make my prayers more meaningful. I then challenge everyone to do the same. Not anything specific, but just to take the next step w/ their prayers. For me, I was working on kneeling when I pray. Now, I'm working on adding in consistent scripture study, to receive answers to my prayers. I mean, we as members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, have a "habit of prayer" already. It isn't a new concept. We've been exposed to it from day one. We are a praying people! We pray in church, we pray at home, we pray for our food, we pray when we are set apart for callings/missions, we pray in the temple. We pray! Honestly, it wasn't a difficult challenge or one that was "way out there," so I felt comfortable extending it.
The concluding speakers were, a bishop from our stake, and our stake president, President Shollenberger. The Bishop spoke on frequenting the temple more often, and President Shollenberger spoke about the theme of our conference and the revelation that is given preparing for the conference and throughout the conference. Their talks were awesome. They definitely spoke w/ the Spirit and I learned a lot from them both. I love the things that we learn in our church meetings! Many times they are repetitive topics, but I know that I am one of those that need to be told more than once, before anything really sticks. I'm pretty sure I've mentioned that before, but it's true!
Thanks for reading my ramblings and hope you continue to. Be strong, be happy, and find the joy in your life!